BE KINDER

So, it's been a few days. Just busy with life and all that entails for me these days. For those of you keeping track, I've had 8 treatments so far....30+ to go. Things are well in that regard. I'm tired but I think it is for lack of sleep rather than radiation. I got my treatments changed to 9 a.m. so that should help. I'm enjoying my book on CD...The Scarpeta Factor. Some days it seems I see no end to my daily trips. Other days, not so much. Like I say, "Ya gotta do what ya gotta do."

BE KINDER. As many of you know, I got my first tattoo for Christmas from my son. It says simply "BE KINDER". I've adopted this as sort of a mantra. It works for everything. If everyone were a little kinder, the world would be a better place. Starving kids? Be kinder and give them some food. Domestic violence? Be kinder and help the people involved. War? Be kinder. Road rage? Let the other person go first. ...... Try it and see if it works for you.

I ordered wrist bands and have been passing them out. Funny how such a little thing can spark such thought-full conversation. If you want me to send you some let me know and I will. You can help me spread the awareness. Sometimes my mind goes crazy with ideas. In this case, I can almost see a movement of sorts...bumper stickers, T shirts, hats, ads on buses and planes. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Had breakfast with Mom and Dad this morning...the closest I have to a Valentine. For those of you with sweethearts, enjoy every day and celebrate what you have in each other. As for me, I celebrate myself with contentment.

That's it for today.

BE KINDER.

Lucky Shoes

So, here's the picture of my lucky shoes. I've convinced my son, if we win money on the super bowl today, to let me make him a pair!

All is going well as far as my treatments, etc. I've had 3 so far. I met with the oncologist Friday. He talked about starting tamoxifen treatment again. I reminded him that I tried tamoxifen 4 years ago and had horrible headaches and weight gain. Since there is only a 2% benefit for me, the quality of my life is worth more than that and I chose not to take it. I'm feeling good. Going through a few changes with work that are a bit frustrating but will be okay.

Yesterday Dad came over to help with yardwork. His energy amazes me, encourages me. Every year they come to town I have my ongoing list that we whittle away at over the 4 months. I am so thankful for the help and getting the jobs done, but more important is the time we spend together and the little conversations about nothing and everything.

This morning I went to Mom and Dad's for sourdough waffles. Their 55th anniversary is in a couple weeks. My sister came up with the original idea...I got a photo album with a cut out in the center of the cover, in which I put a picture of them on their wedding day. I wrote across the top "Happy 55th" and their wedding date across the bottom. All of us kids and grandkids are going to send anniversary cards and a certain amount of pictures. If everyone follows through they should get 55 pictures for the album. I also took over 4 different colored bouquets of carnations and miniature candy bars. The breakfast was great, the company better. It'll be fun to see the album when its filled.

Not much else happening today, which can be a good thing. I'm wearing my lucky shoes and keeping positive. I'm marking my calendar with big blue numbers after every treatment and looking at each one as another step on the journey.

Have a Super day and whether you watch the game or not...I wish you luck!

Snap Out Of It

I just love this picture! It shows how a part of me feels inside, sort of tough but with a lot of flare. The caption on the picture says "Snap out of it!" A good motto these days.

So, today I had my second radiation treatment...only 34-40 to go. Right now my appointments are at 7:40 a.m. which means I hit the wonderful morning traffic. I'm hoping to get them changed to later in the day. Mostly because I get so frustrated with the traffic that by the time I get there I'm angry and I don't like that. I don't want this to be an angry process. I'm listening to a wonderful mystery book on CDs, so that will definitely help.

I met with the counselor at the cancer center. I built a dollhouse a while ago and decided I wanted to find a mother going through treatments that I could just give it to. This counselor is amazing. One of those people that the second you meet them and shake their hand you immediately feel in the presence of goodness. Anyway, I showed her pictures of the dollhouse and told her my thoughts. Her face brightened and she said, "What do you think about this..." Apparently the center has a huge fundraiser every year and have a silent auction. By the end of the conversation, I had promised my dollhouse for the auction and said between now and then I would furnish it. What could be better than that? This way, a little girl will still get the house, but also I will help raise money for all the programs they offer for free. They have free massages, arts and crafts classes where they display the artwork (all done by cancer patients and survivors), singing groups, support groups, family nights, etc. All of those things are provided free of charge to the patients.

Although this wonderful woman tried her best to get me to commit to about everything, I didn't, but imagine I will get more involved when I'm not so busy. What I would really like to do is take a whole bunch of plain white tennis shoes and a big bag of fabric pens and just wander through the children's ward. I'd love to just sit with a couple kids and help them make their own lucky shoes. (I'll see if I can figure out how to put another picture in this post.) Wouldn't that be an amazing time?! Sounds like I need to get busy.

I've got to get back on a regular schedule of walking. I met Dad yesterday out where he walks everyday. It's an area filled with sagebrush, rabbits, quail, hawks, other birds, and the occasional mud holes...my dogs' favorite part. I forget how much I love to see the dogs doing what dogs do best...running, chasing rabbits, and smelling absolutely everything. By the time we were headed back to the Jeep, they both looked like they had on brown socks and face masks. I swear I heard them giggling as they jumped in the Jeep. I need to do that more often.

Well, that's about it for now. I appreciate you all for reading my thoughts...as mundane as they may be at times...and for thinking of me. So far so good!

Wonderful Family Weekend

So, Friday I went to the surgeon for a followup and so he could take out a stitch that was bothering me. We talked a lot about my experience in recovery. He is going to look into it and let me know more details. We had a positive visit, lighthearted on a serious subject. He commented on my M&M colored fingernail tips and said, "You are a party." I thought about it later and think its a wonderful thing to be.....a party. Better to be fun than not.

My parents had gone with me and then we met my son for lunch and a trip to Bass Pro Shop. A few more stops and then home. When we pulled up in front of my home I was met with the most amazing surprise. My brother, who won't get on a plane unless he's going to Alaska to fish, was sitting on the bench in front of my house with his girlfriend. I was simply overcome with surprise, shock, joy, and love. I cried as I hugged him and he held me tight. He said something like, "Hey Sis. I thought I'd come see how you're doing." I couldn't believe it. My parents had known nothing about it either and were equally surprised.

After a short visit, my parents went home and we spent the evening laughing, talking, and just being. We met my son at the casino and I wore my lucky shoes. Whether it was the shoes, my brother, the lady sitting next to me at the slots, or Divine intervention...I won $400! Amazing! I bought breakfast the next morning. We had an amazing weekend of family time, bird walks, heavy food and conversation. Funny how small a world can be when you are wrapped in a cocoon of family.

Though we spent actually very little time talking about my cancer, I felt so loved and supported simply by their presence. We may not see each other very often but it is understood that in a crisis we are One.

Tomorrow is my sort of rehearsal for my radiation treatments. I will find out what time my appointments will be and when they will actually start. I'll keep you posted.

Until then, if its been a while since you've touched base with your family members, take this as a reminder.