Always A Mother

When a baby is born, a mother is also born and will always be. The connection can never be broken and is inherent. From the first cry, our purpose in life changes. For the first few months our lives revolve around the needs of the baby; the sleeping schedule, the feeding schedule. Their needs come first, as it should be. We protect them from sick people. We bundle them up, probably too much. We worry over runny noses and puffy eyes. We know our baby is the cutest. As a baby grows and begins to explore their surroundings by rolling over and crawling, we vacuum more often and clean better. We protect them from things on the floor. We watch them constantly so they won't put things in their mouths that don't belong. As the baby starts to crawl and struggles to walk upright, we hold their hands, trying to keep them from falling. We smile and clap our hands encouraging them to walk towards us. We praise them with smiles and hugs when they take their first steps. We again childproof our homes with outlet plugs, locks on cupboards, and moving fragile things out of reach. We buy them sturdy shoes so their feet will develop correctly. We suddenly realize how quick they can be, and how mischievous. We worry even more. We protect them from their curiosity. Our lives are theirs and theirs are ours. We are the most important people in their lives. They look to us for approval. They look to us for basic needs. They begin to understand what makes us happy, sad, mad. They are developing their own personalities and preferences. They throw tantrums. We try to understand them. We make excuses for their behavior. We sigh and try to remember this too will pass. Most of the time, though, they love to be with us. They stay close, they hug us, they want to sleep with us and cuddle. They panic when we are out of sight. We encourage them and comfort them. When they start school, we panic. Will they be okay? Will they make friends? Will they behave? Will they miss me? We talk to the teachers. We can't wait for the first day to be over. They survive. We sigh and smile at their stories. Through the years, we go to sporting events and concerts. We make treats for classroom activities. We talk through friend problems and betrayals. We talk to coaches and teachers on behalf of our children. We help with homework and argue about grades. We try to protect them from bad influences, bad choices, bad people. We make decisions for them and try to help them understand the "in your best interest" concept. We sometimes confuse being a parent and being a friend. We try to protect them as they scream they don't need our protection. When they graduate from high school, we are so proud. The decisions they make now are their own and we are supportive. Again we are learning as mothers to protect from afar. Our hearts break at their disappointments. We watch them grow. We watch them learn. We watch them become the adults we hoped they would become. We meet friends, some we like and some we don't. We learn to trust them and their decisions. We protect them in our hearts and minds. We worry about them. We love them...in a different way. As our children become adults, I think we struggle with our roles. Are we a friend? Are we an advisor? Are we a sounding board? Are we a nuisance? Are we too involved? I would like to think we are everything. Most of all, I hope I am a comfortable, safe place. A place where it doesn't matter if words are spoken or not, if opinions are the same or not, if beliefs are the same or not, if priorities are the same or not. A place where they will always feel protected. Today's challenge: Make a child, regardless how old they may be, feel protected and safe.