Someone You Know Has Cancer. What Now?

So, someone you know has been diagnosed with breast cancer. What next? I had a conversation this morning with someone who was just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately I was able to help her, support her, advise her, and just listen. I say fortunately, because I have been on that journey twice before. Anyway, having the conversation, reminded me of how uncomfortable different people were around me once they found out I had breast cancer. They didn't know how to act or what to say. Of course, me being my verbal and open self, I was able to let them know what I needed or didn't need from them. So, my advice to those people who are in that place is to simply ask the person with cancer what they want and need. Do you want to talk about it? Do you want me to ask questions? Do you want me to help you in any way? Do you want me to pray for you and add you to prayer lists? Do you want me to help you gather the latest medical information? Do you want me to just sit here? Do you want me to just listen? Do you want me to leave you alone? Do you want me to shave my head? My point is, rather than spend time and energy worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, simply ask. The person with cancer will appreciate your straightforwardness and honesty in asking. Cancer has a way of really bringing the things that are important in your life to the forefront. Have honest, heartfelt conversations. Admit you are afraid. Admit you are sad. Admit that you are angry. Admit you are thankful it isn't you. Cancer is ugly, scary, and sometimes unpredictable. Once we acknowledge that, we can get down to fighting it and taking one appointment at a time. So, again, simply ask the person with cancer what they need or want from you and then do it, give it, say it, or be it.

Today is wear a star sticker day.